February 23, 2021

I’m bruised

By Confusedgirl

I’m bruised in ways you can’t even imagine. The hardest part isn’t admitting that I’m bruised but it is trying to explain to someone why I’m bruised. My wounds refuse to heal because I keep picking at them. The motivation I get from the advice and YouTube videos only last about an hour at most before my own mind drags me to the bitter reality that Ive created.

If I could, I would fast forward myself through the healing stage and get to the point or stage where I realize the scares from the wounds and bruises are beautiful. It is not that I don’t want to heal but the process is taking too long. My mind keeps forcing me to relive the trauma in the most unsettling times. No one can pull me through this but myself.

If I told you my problems, they would seem soo miniature compared to what the world in going through. I guess part of the reason why I’m not healing fast enough is because I need someone to validate issues. It’s like I need someone to say “yes what you going through is real, it’s pain and you have every right to feel what like that”. When will we stop seeking validation. We seek validation of our worth. You seek validation of happiness. We seek validation of our pain, that yes indeed this can cause to lose yourself. I just want it to stop.

Do I need validation to make it stop. Or do you just snap your fingers. Worry not though, for this too shall pass.