January 8, 2022

New start

Every year we make new promises to ourselves and see the new year as a fresh start. Honestly every day can be viewed as a new start as it is, but let’s look at the new year. The most standard resolution is weight loss and healthier habits. What did you promise yourself this new 2022 year? Mental health in women in general has become more […]

May 17, 2021

It’s been a while, but the confusion remains.

So its been a while since I poured my confusion out and left myself even more confused about my life. Whats changed, as I ask myself, since my last interaction? Well that same situation that has had me on an emotional roller coaster for that past 2 and a half years, has slightly changed. It actually reminds me of something I’ve heard, that goes a […]

February 28, 2021

Changing the optic direction

Basically just changing my perspective. I have been in a real dump for the past couple of what seems like years, and today someone just pops up and says “Hey, you know you can change for the better right?”. Literally just like that, I can change for the better. As per normal, I start listing reasons for why its soo hard to just change and […]

February 23, 2021

I’m bruised

I’m bruised in ways you can’t even imagine. The hardest part isn’t admitting that I’m bruised but it is trying to explain to someone why I’m bruised. My wounds refuse to heal because I keep picking at them. The motivation I get from the advice and YouTube videos only last about an hour at most before my own mind drags me to the bitter reality […]

January 29, 2021

Self sabotage

If I could make it stop by the snap of my fingers, like Thanos did in Avengers, then trust me I would. But I can’t and believe me I have tried. I purpose place myself in such situations where I just lose sense of my goal. But what is my goal, not only have I lost sense of it but I dont even know what […]

November 10, 2020

I’m drowning

I’m drowning, I’m drowning in fear, in pain and in frustration. It is pulling me inward in such a way that, I can’t even stream out for help. It creeps up on me even in the most un-triggered of times. I can’t see how this ends. The stages this comes at me is confusing, if I’m not numb, then I’m sad or depressed and people […]

October 21, 2020

Why is love soo scary….?

We have been through this before and it didn’t end so well, it might have not been with you, but in a way it was. I know how I am when in love and it ain’t pretty. The idea of me losing myself again is terrifying. I will never understand why love is now scary. You are different, or so I wish you are but […]

October 6, 2020

False self image alert

So its said how you see the world is a reflection of how you see yourself. The idea of self image is the very defining point of it. If that is true, then one of my perceptions is lying. I personally see the world as full of opportunities and hope, but internally I’m numb. I know it doesn’t make any sense but somehow it does. […]

September 16, 2020

I need a me in my corner

You see that person cheering you on day by day, always there to uplift you and make you feel better after a long crappy day. I need that person, but unfortunately the best barber can not have the best hair cut. I need a me. How can I need myself in my own corner as if to say I neglect myself, which I don’t. But […]

August 25, 2020

The reason why self love is soo hard to attain

Somehow loving yourself just seems just a little harder than what I had originally envisioned. I know I’m good enough and I know what I am capable of. I understand where I’m coming from and I know where I’m going. So why is hard for me to proudly and honestly say ” I love myself, unconditionally” Firstly, what does loving one’s own self mean? Do […]

August 18, 2020

You see me as you see yourself

How you see me, is only but a reflection of how you see yourself or how you think I see you. So who are you? Are you who you think you are or who you think I think you should be? Self projection will be the death of our society. You cheat because you think I’m cheating, you gossip about me because you think I’m […]

August 17, 2020

I am kind…. simply kind

When did being kind become so questionable? Where did it all go wrong? Are we so accustom to rudeness and harshness, that we now think that anyone trying to showing the little humanity left in us, is fake? I am not sucking up or want anything, I am simply being kind. We call anyone who genuinely cares and supports our every move, fake. Are you […]

August 3, 2020

I’m tired of fighting

It’s draining, it’s pointless and makes me weak yet fuels my toxic attraction to you. I need your attention and it seems fighting is the only way to keep you online long enough to feed my craving for you. The reason I can’t keep doing this to myself is beyond logic . I don’t want to lose you too, because I have already lose myself, […]

August 2, 2020

Addicted to pain

As weird as it may sound, its real. The addiction to pain is a conscious yet unconscious decision to keep ones’ own self in a vicious self hatred cycle, to keep yourself from being happy as you feel you are undeserving of happiness. The addiction to pain could be simplified by the need to constantly bring up old hurtful memories in order to keep that […]

July 28, 2020

Am I complete or do I need you to complete me?

The whole idea of a relationship was to find someone to complete you and together be whole as one. 10 years down the line, the new emphasis is on finding a whole complete person, no longer to complete you but to compliment you. Where do I find a complete person without battle scars from past attempts at true love. What classifies a person as whole […]

July 25, 2020

In question of self

What to feel when feelings let you down? Have you ever been your own worst nightmare and the thought of your own existence freaked you out. How can I not feel anything? Is feeling nothing a feeling? I don’t know what I feel these days. Days turn to weeks, weeks into months and months into years all just trying to figure out what I’m feeling, […]

June 1, 2020

Affirmation seekers

If I had to stop and think about me myself as a young black woman, honestly nothing comes to mind, as I am left wondering Who am I? Knowing where I am, not just physically but also mentally and spiritually would really just remove the load on my shoulders. I ask the people around me, Who am I, and they describe someone foreign to me. […]

May 15, 2020


Fear is always there lingering at the back of ones mind. fear of being seen for who we really are fear of rejection fear of failure fear of not being enough fear of being hurt The fear of not being loved…… While all those fears seem common enough, it’s the fear of positivity that makes me wonder. The fear of being accepted, because that might […]

May 14, 2020

Why did you stay?

My unconscious habits of pushing people away has always been my way of life, and it had proven effective in keeping me in my own deep dark world of loneliness and constant replay of my life’s down bad choices. So naturally pushing people away kept me and my demons in good peaceful company, but you decided to stay…… Why? From ignoring your texts, ignoring your […]

January 25, 2020

You’ll be fine, so they said…..

Time heals all wounds, they said….Don’t get over it, go through it ,they said 😏 feel all they pain and deal with it, they preached …. Well I DID just that !! and yet twenty years later here I am feel as worthless as I did back then. Why won’t time heal my wounds? What do i have to do ? Is it the constant […]