October 6, 2020

False self image alert

So its said how you see the world is a reflection of how you see yourself. The idea of self image is the very defining point of it. If that is true, then one of my perceptions is lying. I personally see the world as full of opportunities and hope, but internally I’m numb. I know it doesn’t make any sense but somehow it does. […]

September 16, 2020

I need a me in my corner

You see that person cheering you on day by day, always there to uplift you and make you feel better after a long crappy day. I need that person, but unfortunately the best barber can not have the best hair cut. I need a me. How can I need myself in my own corner as if to say I neglect myself, which I don’t. But […]

September 6, 2020

Getting a little hopeless in the search for more

There has to be more than what we are experiencing, there has to be a higher force to it. I want more, I deserve more but what is more? I don’t even know what more is but I am in search of more. Honestly don’t need much but there must be more to it than this right here. Is this it?, I’m not saying I’m […]

August 25, 2020

The reason why self love is soo hard to attain

Somehow loving yourself just seems just a little harder than what I had originally envisioned. I know I’m good enough and I know what I am capable of. I understand where I’m coming from and I know where I’m going. So why is hard for me to proudly and honestly say ” I love myself, unconditionally” Firstly, what does loving one’s own self mean? Do […]

August 18, 2020

You see me as you see yourself

How you see me, is only but a reflection of how you see yourself or how you think I see you. So who are you? Are you who you think you are or who you think I think you should be? Self projection will be the death of our society. You cheat because you think I’m cheating, you gossip about me because you think I’m […]

August 3, 2020

I’m tired of fighting

It’s draining, it’s pointless and makes me weak yet fuels my toxic attraction to you. I need your attention and it seems fighting is the only way to keep you online long enough to feed my craving for you. The reason I can’t keep doing this to myself is beyond logic . I don’t want to lose you too, because I have already lose myself, […]

August 2, 2020

Addicted to pain

As weird as it may sound, its real. The addiction to pain is a conscious yet unconscious decision to keep ones’ own self in a vicious self hatred cycle, to keep yourself from being happy as you feel you are undeserving of happiness. The addiction to pain could be simplified by the need to constantly bring up old hurtful memories in order to keep that […]

July 28, 2020

Am I complete or do I need you to complete me?

The whole idea of a relationship was to find someone to complete you and together be whole as one. 10 years down the line, the new emphasis is on finding a whole complete person, no longer to complete you but to compliment you. Where do I find a complete person without battle scars from past attempts at true love. What classifies a person as whole […]

July 25, 2020

In question of self

What to feel when feelings let you down? Have you ever been your own worst nightmare and the thought of your own existence freaked you out. How can I not feel anything? Is feeling nothing a feeling? I don’t know what I feel these days. Days turn to weeks, weeks into months and months into years all just trying to figure out what I’m feeling, […]

June 1, 2020

Affirmation seekers

If I had to stop and think about me myself as a young black woman, honestly nothing comes to mind, as I am left wondering Who am I? Knowing where I am, not just physically but also mentally and spiritually would really just remove the load on my shoulders. I ask the people around me, Who am I, and they describe someone foreign to me. […]

May 15, 2020

FEAR

Fear is always there lingering at the back of ones mind. fear of being seen for who we really are fear of rejection fear of failure fear of not being enough fear of being hurt The fear of not being loved…… While all those fears seem common enough, it’s the fear of positivity that makes me wonder. The fear of being accepted, because that might […]

May 14, 2020

Why did you stay?

My unconscious habits of pushing people away has always been my way of life, and it had proven effective in keeping me in my own deep dark world of loneliness and constant replay of my life’s down bad choices. So naturally pushing people away kept me and my demons in good peaceful company, but you decided to stay…… Why? From ignoring your texts, ignoring your […]

January 25, 2020

You’ll be fine, so they said…..

Time heals all wounds, they said….Don’t get over it, go through it ,they said 😏 feel all they pain and deal with it, they preached …. Well I DID just that !! and yet twenty years later here I am feel as worthless as I did back then. Why won’t time heal my wounds? What do i have to do ? Is it the constant […]