Category: Personal reflection

August 3, 2020

I’m tired of fighting

It’s draining, it’s pointless and makes me weak yet fuels my toxic attraction to you. I need your attention and it seems fighting is the only way to keep you online long enough to feed my craving for you. The reason I can’t keep doing this to myself is beyond logic . I don’t want to lose you too, because I have already lose myself, […]

August 2, 2020

Addicted to pain

As weird as it may sound, its real. The addiction to pain is a conscious yet unconscious decision to keep ones’ own self in a vicious self hatred cycle, to keep yourself from being happy as you feel you are undeserving of happiness. The addiction to pain could be simplified by the need to constantly bring up old hurtful memories in order to keep that […]

July 26, 2020

What would happen if we just stopped?

With everything being instant. Its getting harder and harder to just stop and be in the moment that is happening at that current time and space. In efforts to connect, we just seem to be further apart. Would you die from FOMO (Fear Of Missing Out) if you just took a second to just stop and take it all in. It is not about the […]

July 25, 2020

Waiting on yourself

What are you waiting for in your life.. we live in a constant state of motion and yet we are waiting for something. We want something big to prove to us that we are on the right path or, are we just dangling and going with the flow. You keep telling yourself that it is going to get better, but you still do nothing different […]

July 25, 2020

In question of self

What to feel when feelings let you down? Have you ever been your own worst nightmare and the thought of your own existence freaked you out. How can I not feel anything? Is feeling nothing a feeling? I don’t know what I feel these days. Days turn to weeks, weeks into months and months into years all just trying to figure out what I’m feeling, […]

June 6, 2020

#shock of the day

The average high school kid today has the same level of anxiety as the average psychiatric patient in the early 1950s … That shocked me and I just had to share it, because I believe it to be true.

May 20, 2020

If only I had listened to me.

Racing and pacing through my own mind has made me a prisoner of self. Day in, day out and the pace got more intense, have I reaching self-awareness or self destruction. I clearly had alot to say to myself but in all the racing, it just never made sense. My mind needs peace, so can I have it?

May 14, 2020

Why did you stay?

My unconscious habits of pushing people away has always been my way of life, and it had proven effective in keeping me in my own deep dark world of loneliness and constant replay of my life’s down bad choices. So naturally pushing people away kept me and my demons in good peaceful company, but you decided to stay…… Why? From ignoring your texts, ignoring your […]

May 13, 2020

Still waiting for the right time….

Forever waiting for the right moment to start living my life the way I want to and to be honest it’s been a long 25 and half years of waiting. I have been feeling off these past few months and I’m not completely sure why and this year as an entity isn’t really making things any easier for me. With the outbreak of corona and […]

February 28, 2020

Rich dad Poor dad and a confused me.

So after months of having my younger cousin nag me about reading Rich dad Poor dad, I finally picked up the copy of it and started reading it. It might have taken me awhile to fully understand the concept behind it all and for all I know, I’m still very much lost in the financial illiteracy forest. The mere idea of the idea that “The […]