Category: Personal reflection

November 10, 2020

I’m drowning

I’m drowning, I’m drowning in fear, in pain and in frustration. It is pulling me inward in such a way that, I can’t even stream out for help. It creeps up on me even in the most un-triggered of times. I can’t see how this ends. The stages this comes at me is confusing, if I’m not numb, then I’m sad or depressed and people […]

October 21, 2020

Why is love soo scary….?

We have been through this before and it didn’t end so well, it might have not been with you, but in a way it was. I know how I am when in love and it ain’t pretty. The idea of me losing myself again is terrifying. I will never understand why love is now scary. You are different, or so I wish you are but […]

October 6, 2020

False self image alert

So its said how you see the world is a reflection of how you see yourself. The idea of self image is the very defining point of it. If that is true, then one of my perceptions is lying. I personally see the world as full of opportunities and hope, but internally I’m numb. I know it doesn’t make any sense but somehow it does. […]

August 25, 2020

The reason why self love is soo hard to attain

Somehow loving yourself just seems just a little harder than what I had originally envisioned. I know I’m good enough and I know what I am capable of. I understand where I’m coming from and I know where I’m going. So why is hard for me to proudly and honestly say ” I love myself, unconditionally” Firstly, what does loving one’s own self mean? Do […]

August 3, 2020

I’m tired of fighting

It’s draining, it’s pointless and makes me weak yet fuels my toxic attraction to you. I need your attention and it seems fighting is the only way to keep you online long enough to feed my craving for you. The reason I can’t keep doing this to myself is beyond logic . I don’t want to lose you too, because I have already lose myself, […]

August 2, 2020

Addicted to pain

As weird as it may sound, its real. The addiction to pain is a conscious yet unconscious decision to keep ones’ own self in a vicious self hatred cycle, to keep yourself from being happy as you feel you are undeserving of happiness. The addiction to pain could be simplified by the need to constantly bring up old hurtful memories in order to keep that […]

July 26, 2020

What would happen if we just stopped?

With everything being instant. Its getting harder and harder to just stop and be in the moment that is happening at that current time and space. In efforts to connect, we just seem to be further apart. Would you die from FOMO (Fear Of Missing Out) if you just took a second to just stop and take it all in. It is not about the […]

July 25, 2020

Waiting on yourself

What are you waiting for in your life.. we live in a constant state of motion and yet we are waiting for something. We want something big to prove to us that we are on the right path or, are we just dangling and going with the flow. You keep telling yourself that it is going to get better, but you still do nothing different […]